I had a great phone conversation w/ my daddy the other night. I must admit my guilt of not calling him as much as I should. Our recent conversations have been about 2 minutes long. Mainly b/c he always calls me @ work. I work in a busy law firm so personal calls at the wrong time are always really at the wrong time. LOL But that's not his fault. We wouldn't have that problem if I called him more. But yeah, Monday night was nice. About 25 minutes of us just chatting. No big debate. No urgent matters. Nothing too deep.
He asked in his "Dear Ol' Dad voice":
Dada: Are there any problems u wanna lay on your Dad's shoulders?Me: No. Not really. I actually live a pretty drama-free life
Dada: Really wow? How do you do that?
LOL He then went on to tell me the latest adventures in the lives of two people I know. We're not blood related but ya betta believe had we been, I woulda yoked both of 'em up already by now. But that's a wholenother saga & situation.
Yeah, so chit chit chit chat chat chat. Then I asked Daddy:
Me: Is there anything you wanna lay on my shoulders? *chuckle chuckle*
Dada: (fake sobbing) Well actually, I was hoping u would ask! I've been waiting for you to ask me! (he's joking but serious) I'm kinda lonely! (fake sob)
He thinks he was joking but I know he was partly serious. I'm sure he is lonely! He's been in Massachusetts away from, literally, his entire family for over 20 years! Not only away from his mother & siblings but also from his ex-wife, with whom he has a really goof friendship, his 3 children and his grandchildren. As well as his special lady "friend". He's missed so much. Of course he's lonely. My answer to that? Well bring your tail home then! Shoot! I used 2 coo & coddle when he would speak about missing but not anymore! Hello! It's not like you have some binding commitment keeping you away from everyone you love! High-tail it home! LOL
And in no way am I trying to be mean or disrespectful. And forgive me, Daddy, if it is. But if I keep coddling, then he's not gonna see that it's far time for him to come home. He completed his mission in Massachusetts years ago. It's getting dangerous where he lives. It's not as safe as it used to be. It's just time.
That conversation brought this questions: How much do we let fear of a new beginning, or simply change, paralyze us? Is Daddy risking being alone for the remainder of his life because he's afraid to make the first step? Yup! That's it exactly.
And by alone, I don't mean completely isolated from any friends or "family". He does he friends there. Very close friends. He's been there for 20 yeas. And he has the occasional lady friend. But that none of that compares to sitting in your children's home watching them interact with your grandchildren. I know it doesn't.
Why do we let fear paralyze us? It's our life! We make it! So why don't we make it how we want it?
Do me a favor. If you see my Daddy and he says he misses his family, please firmly suck your teeth, furrow your brow and say to him: Then go home!!
